


Before Our Spring

by illonimo



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illonimo/pseuds/illonimo
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Before Our Spring

Love was fickle, it was a fact you had come to know and accept in your years since you had joined the Rebel Alliance. Love was a painful and cruel emotion. It made you believe things you wouldn’t otherwise believe, it made your brain ignore what your gut told you. It made you reckless.

_Which you were._

As fickle as love was you found yourself in its clutches, it nearly suffocating you every chance it got. You tried to ignore it, to ignore the heart flutters, the shortness of breath you got whenever he was around. Whenever you had to face one of your best friends.

**_Cassian Andor_ **

A man who was married to his job, to the Rebel Alliance. You had seen his suitors come and go each one leaving with a broken heart, whether they wanted to share it or not, you could always see it. And you knew one day that would be you, one day you would find your heart broken under your playful guise and you would have to live with that heartache until the day you sacrificed yourself for the cause.

But part of you hoped, a part of you had stuffed away a letter in your bunk, one that told him everything. You had debated many times to give it to him, before missions or even a normal afternoon but each time you managed to talk yourself out of it.

Maybe that’s why as you looked up at the sky, your body radiating with pain from the various wounds that littered your body; regret ran through you. You weren’t going to make it, no one else in your squad had and you had a feeling any luck you had was running out. The ground was littered with bodies, Empire and Rebel Alliance alike, each one of their deaths as brutal as the others. This is what war was, suffering.

“Captain L/N, report.” A familiar voice echoed through your comma and you bit the inside of your cheek. Why did it have to be him, why couldn’t you have died in peace? It was a selfish question you almost resented yourself for having. The key phrase being ‘almost’.

“Cassian,” Your voice croaked and you mentally facepalmed at the weakness in your voice.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” His professional voice was long gone, a new tone now entering your ear.

“There was an ambush, we tried to hold it but there were just too many of them.” You explained. “The Empire forces left but they took out my squad.” And me.

“Y/N where are you, we’ll send you a shuttle. I will come down there and find you myself.” You weren’t sure if he was actually worried or if it was the fact that you were dying and your mind wanted to be at peace. Either way, it made your heart flutter and it was a welcome difference from all the pain.

“I’m not going to make it Cassian.” The truth fell from your lips and the realization hit you in the chest. You’d never see him again or K2S0, never witness their funny banter again, you never get to look into the eyes that you loved again. “Even if you got here in time, I wouldn’t make it back to base.”

“Don’t say that. You’ll be okay.” You could feel tears sting at the corners of your eyes. You had to tell him, you couldn’t die without telling him.

“Cassian I want you to listen to me because I don’t think I can say it twice, this one time will be the only time I’ll be able to say it.” Taking the deepest breath your lungs could muster, you closed your eyes. “You are my best friend who I love very much but throughout these years my feelings have developed. And I know you are married to the Rebel Alliance, I know this so I’ve done everything to avoid having to tell you this. But I figured that if I’m lying here dying it wouldn’t hurt to have honesty hour.” You coughed trying to suck the air back into your lungs.

“Y/N,” Cassian started but you made a small noise of disgruntlement that made him stop.

“And I know it’s almost cruel that I’m telling you now, it’s selfish really. But I want to be selfish for once and I don’t want to die without telling you.” Your voice cracked and wetness seeped from the corner of your eyes.

“Please, not like this.” He begged and you felt guilty. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to tell him. Maybe never telling would have been better. But as a lightness took over your body, your skin tingling with unfamiliarity you knew it was now or never.

“I am in love you Cassian Andor and I want you to know that I was proud to love someone like you. Someone who is so dedicated to the people, someone who has hope.” The sky above you swirled, the clouds mixing into the landscape. “And Rebellions are built on hope. And that makes you more important than you would ever imagine.”

“Y/N, please.” He was barely whispering now, his voice so faint it sounded like he was the one struggling to breathe, the one who felt like they were being crushed under hundreds of pounds of rubble.

Closing your eyes you felt the tears slip from underneath your eyelids still. Pulling the comm out of your ear you lightly tossed it to the side.

“ _Goodbye_ _Cassian_.”


End file.
